God, why does everything we do have to be cloaked in like 15 layers of irony?
- April

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Can you Photoshop your life with better decisions, Jerry?
- April

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I love games that turn people against each other.
- April

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Donna: Look what I found on Jerry’s Facebook.
April: A friend? Buuurn.

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Ron: To me, this situation is a blood-soaked, nightmare-ish hellscape.
April: Yay.

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I passed up a gay Halloween party to be here. Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year I saw three Jonas brothers make out with three Robert Pattisons. It was amazing.
- April

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This is an impression of my sister, Natalie.. “Hi, I’m Natalie, I like Ritalin and have low self-esteem!”
- April

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You don’t have to buy me things. I just like being around you.
- April

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Leslie: It’s not cool. It’s trespassing, and that is breaking the rules. Cool people make the rules. They don’t break the rules. And if those kids want you to break the rules then they’re not really your friends.
April: Whoa, who are you even talking about?

(via peoplewhoactlikeaprilludgate)